The first reference to objectification I can find is Immanuel Kant 1724-1804. He was a German enlightenment philosopher. Kant started to discuss the idea that people are the end not the means, and if we treat them as a means to an end we treat them as objects to be used rather than as people. A removal of aspects which make them fully them.

His description in Lectures on Ethics uses the term “Object of appetite” and makes the comparison with a lemon, which once squeezed for what we desire is then cast aside. “All motives of moral relationship cease to function, because as an Object of appetite for another a person becomes a thing and can be treated and used as such by every one” p163 Lectures on Ethics.

I dare say he may not have been the first and there would have been other people I am not aware of, so feel free to let me know of any. Later I came across the term in Object relations theory, specifically in reading Melanie Klein, she was a Psychoanalyst who primarily worked with children. Object relations is at the heart of her work, fair warning, its not easy reading.

Then I found Gestalt psychotherapy and Fritz and Laura Perls in particular, and the Gestalt concept of expectation. You may be familiar with the Gestalt prayer? Its not a prayer as such, it was a gimmicky motif used to start group sessions and spark interest in contact. It goes something like this: “I am me and you are you, I do my thing and you do yours, I am not here to meet your expectations and you are not here to meet mine, and if we meet it will be beautiful.”

In principle we are saying, in order for us to really meet we can no treat another as an object, and as soon as we have an expectation of the other we are no longer in contact with them as a person and we begin treating them as an object. A thing we can control, or expect to be a certain way rather than a separate autonomous being. I am going to argue its not as clear cut as this… another day though.

By way of example, lets say you expect me to not swear, because it is against your morale values, or maybe because you have a notion that professional people will not swear. So, when I swear you are outraged and have stern words with me. You expect me to behave a certain way, and now you feel you have the right to control me by telling me to censor myself, you are attempting to take away my voice, you are unable to meet me as the person I am. Though this lack of contact and objectification is established because of your expectations. It has nothing to do with me and my use of language.

People are the ends not the means. We do not exist to fulfil other peoples expectations. If we are ever to meet them fully, we must let go our expectations of what they should be, lift the veil of expectation and see people with unclouded eyes.

Ok, so maybe next I should discuss sexual objectification in a healthy relationship and how it functions to increase contact and intimacy. There now, that sounds like a total contradiction right?!