Often, people strive to become what they think they should be. This is not self actualisation. Quite the reverse. It is also clear that many people are uncomfortable with accepting themselves as they are.

It is allowing our authentic self to be, which is at the heart of self actualisation. If you put all your effort into trying to be what you think you should be you are in essence treating yourself as an object. As I understand it, this is the basis for self objectification. It is an attempt to become the concept of what you should be, rather than allow what you are to be. But there is no should. When someone tells me I should be such and such, I understand they do not accept me as I am and attempt to coerce/manipulate me into being something other.

My self actualisation has nothing to do with trying to be something else, rather it has everything to do with accepting myself as I authentically am and allowing myself to be.