We have been conditioned to believe that having a thing will make us happy. So, conversely, when we do not have that thing, we feel unhappy. Its a total misnomer, I could buy a car and feel happy, crash it the next day and the happiness is gone. That isn’t true happiness, that’s a flight of fancy. fleeting at best, really just an attempt to fill a void with an object.
The art of finding happiness is to recognise the conditioning for the nonsense it is and let it go. Your happiness is not dependent on having things, it is only found in acceptance of what is and expression of the authentic self. What we really need to look for is contentment.
Contentment is possible, but you will never find in one book a list of commandments which give a framework which is perfect for you and helps you in all things be content. This is something only you can achieve, by being in contact, without the hindrance of expectation. In contact with yourself and your environment. With others as they are, not as you expect them to be, or wish they were.
In allowing the full expression of your love, to love others and yourself and to be loved; to be self-directing, always following the desire of your authentic self in contact with others. Finally, by understanding and being understood, being able to make yourself understood. If you can do these things, you will find some measure of contentment.
By allowing full expression of your emotional world, engaging with your sadness, anger and fear, being human, allowing your authentic self to be, without hindrance and without resorting to abusive endeavours. In this, you may find contentment. In the clarity of contact, when I and thou meet, when we truly see each other and accept ourselves and the other; in the knowledge that this will inevitably end. When we experience that awe, that spiritual connection, here we may find contentment, here we may find joy and sometimes even peace. But this path is different for all. My path is not yours, though perhaps one day they may collide, if only for a moment.