Endings are hard, often painful, and we imagine nothing will be good again. In my experience they are the gateway to growth, creating space for new things, as long as we embrace the lessons pain brings and take responsibility for the next path we take.

Change is hard, the ability to tolerate uncertainty is a rare skill, and one we must develop if we are to ever find a sense of meaning in this world. Change often looks painful, but I don’t like to call them negative, its our reactions, our choices within the situation which determine our outcomes. Always when things change, if we tolerate the uncertainty, we will find we grow and create space for our developing self. Nothing is certain except the inevitable end.

Part of this development is accepting my past self. It is easy to berate myself for mistakes made and poor decisions taken, far harder to accept that this self, exists only because I came through that version of me, this version of me only exists because that older version of me made those mistakes and I learned from the fallout. This one here and now, this one is actual, there and then that one in the past, must be accepted. And that one the future me, there is no point telling myself I should be this or that. If I accept myself as I am I will change as a matter of course, that is the great paradox. If I do not accept myself as I am and everything that is, if I just look at what I “should “ be, my expectation will prevent any change occurring.