I am aware of feeling absorbed when I create. In the here and now effort of creating. As soon as I hope someone will like this thing I am creating, or imagine selling my work, or perhaps attach any personal value to my art, at that point creativity stops and I can no longer make a mark on the paper.
It is true to say that we are not what others think we are, we are not here to meet another’s expectations. We must accept ambivalence in order to be creative, accept that nothing is certain, I can control nothing. Once I accept this I am free from the fear of failure and able to create. In essence I begin to allow contact with myself which was subverted by the fear. Most of my best work is really just happy accidents created when I just didn’t give a fuck what anyone would think of my art. And in retrospect, me and my artistic ability.
I think this was a hard one for me to let go of because growing up it was one of the only ways I knew to garner others approval, and approval was important to me then. Now I have let that fall away I think, mostly at least. Or perhaps have just become more aware of its limiting grasp.
Be uncertain, accept that we can control nothing, and suddenly peace appears, along with creative possibilities
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